Current Movies I Wish Not to See and Why.

Allright, I just feel the need to rant about this. There are hardly any movies I would like to see out right now. Almost all of them seem rediculous. The ones I wont rant about are: Accepted, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, The Wicker Man, and World Trade Center. All of those movies either sound remotely good…or are good.

(The only one of ANY of the movies out right now that I’ve seen is Talladega Nights, so this is definately not a review of anything)

1.)Snakes on a Plane
I refuse to ever see that movie. Reasons being:

a.) I hate Sammuel L. Jackson, not funny at all! How is it funny to yell obscenities and such? Ive never laughed at him.
b.) Snake on a plane. Snakes on a Plane? What the crap?
c.) Why? Really…why? Why do you have to have so much vulgarity and nudity?

2.)Step Up
What? Another dancing movie? YAY! OMG I LIKE LUV DANCING MOVIES. Kidding, of course. Hah.
A dance coregrapher for a director, no main star,
I’de rather stick my hand in the toaster, toast it, put sometype of weird pickeled herring cream on it, and eat it.
Why dancing?

3.)How To Eat Fried Worms
Again. The title has it. This is what I think…
Little kids
Muddy hands
Digging holes
Finding worms
Frying them
Making their own cook book.

Maybe its good for 8-11 year old boys…but I don’t want to see this.

Why eating worms?

4.)Beerfest
A fest of beer?
Woohoo! Party!
Lassen Sie uns alle gehen erhalten etwas Bier bei Oktoberfest! Not an original idea.
Personally, the gratuitous nudity, cursing, and stupidity make this sound even worse.

Why “beer games”?

5.) Crank
Are you kidding me?
Anybody seen the commerical for this movie?
“A hit man learns that a poison injected into his body will kill him if his heart rate drops slows a certain point. Now he must exact his revenge on the people who injected him before he takes his last breath.”
In other words, he has to keep doing dangerous and active stuff (killing people, running, sex) or he will die. I laughed when somebody told me this, I asked if it was a comedy.

Why this?

6.) Invincible

Another football movie from the procducers of “The Rookie”

Why do we need another football movie?

7.) Material Girls
Hilary AND Haylie Duff?
That makes me not what to go see it just after hearing that.
Why another girl movie?

8.)Barnyard
An animated movie about talking barnyard animals.
Maybe it is funny…the commericals didn’t make me laugh, much less make me want to see it.
Why more talking animals?

9.) Pulse

So It looks pretty good actually…But all I’ve heard about it is negative reviews. So I won’t be seing this.
Why dont I have a why question for this?

10.) Zoom

Yay! An unlikely group of superheros bound together to save the world!
Woohoo!
Why do we need another movie with a superheroic family?

So that’s it, yes I got tired toward the end…and also ran out of things to say.

So, go see those movies that I listed above…then come back and tell me how much I am wrong or right, because I am certainly not seeing any of those.

3 comments

Snakes… on a plane. Come on, you read the title, you know the movie’s going to suck. Then you go and see the movie, and you find yourself realizing it’s actually better than you expected.
But, if you must, wait until you can watch it on cable and you get to hear Samuel L. Jackson exclaim that he’s had it with these melon-farming snakes on this melon-farming plane.

How is that funny?
Eh, I still dont get it.
And don’t worry, nobody will be able to convince me to see this movie. Ever.

It’s funny because it’s ridiculous?

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